I miss Shane. I could go on and on, but I'm so worn out.

The Duggar family annoys me,  by the way.

Grades - 4 A's, 2 B's. I kick ass.


Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
always do

Where were you last night?
here

What is today's date?
February 10, 2010.

Who was the last person to call you baby/babe?
Johnny

When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
if it's there!

Anyone crushing on you?
Just muh boo

What is your relationship status?
taken!

Has anyone ever sang to you?
yes!

Has anyone ever given you roses?
yes! I love flowers.

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Probably not

Who do you text the most?:
Johnny

How do you make your money?
Being a slave to Sears... selling shit on ebay.... and at the end of this month I'm going to work for my dad's friend out at the track.

First person to text you today?
I think my dad.

What is your favorite color?
green

What color are your eyes?
blue

What is a compliment you receive often?
everyone loves my eyes.

How tall are you?:
5'6''

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when?
Johnny about 30 minutes ago

Do you like your parents?
Of course I like them. I love them. It's just kind of hard living with them.

Do you secretly like someone?:
no.

Why did your last relationship end?
Because I wanted something else. I didn't see it progressing, and my feelings faded.

Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?
Johnny.

Where is the furthest place you've traveled?
Spain, Italy, and France

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
Sleep.

Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
both. I'm a very even mix/

How long does it take you to shower?
eh, depends. I spend way too much time idling in hot water.

Can you do splits?
I wish!

Are you flexible?
not so much

What did you do on New Years Eve?
Johnny and I drank and played with fireworks and... each other

Was your mom there?
no

Can you speak any other language than English?
a little spanish

What is the last letter of your middle name?
e

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
6?

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
almost always.

Are you scared of flying?
nope.

What do you sleep in?
usually panties and a tshirt

Do you like funny people or serious people?
both.

What are you listening to?
futurama

What jewelry do you wear all the time?
earrings

What do you have planned for tonight?
nothing.  I think I may do more school work, I was on a role!

Do you prefer myspace or socialsplash?
Myspace... I don't even know what socialsplash is.

Do you have a favorite item of clothing?
nah

Do you like messages or comments better?
I like... phone calls?

Last movie you saw in theaters?
I think I saw a movie with mom... oh...  Leap Year. Damn.

Last thing you ate?
Mac and Cheese

What was last thing you drank?
Dr. Pepper.  I need to drink more water.

Are you happy right now?
I'm happy because my grades are fantastic.  I'm trying to keep my mind off of how sad I really am.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
SHANE. A TIME MACHINE

Who makes you happiest right now?
Johnny, and my wiggle of a puppy.

Are you left handed?
no

What is for dinner tonight?
..mac and cheese.

What is the last thing you thought about?
foot tattoos.  I want one.

When is your birthday?
August 29th.

Do you want to get married & have children one day?
i doubt that's gunna happen.
you kinda gotta fall in love to get married, and honestly I don't wanna fall in love again.

Wheee, I can't wait to move. I need to get out of this town. And I'm obsessed with my apartment... that isn't quite mine yet, but I don't have any worries. I've got great ass credit and my parents to back me as guarantors. Lucky me!

The whole apartment is beautiful. There's a garden tub, his and her sinks, a washer and dryer, alarm system, gate, puppy friendly, ahhhhh, it keeps going! That closet is huge! You could sleep in it if you really wanted to. I don't know why you would want to... but... you could. I have everything I could possibly need for my kitchen and we have a little dining table. Now I need everything else. hahaha.

Other than that, I'm excited about Valentine's day. Last year was kinda shitty because... nevermind. I got Georgie on Valentine's day!  Best present ever! He is so sweet and loves me so much. He is the best little dog I could ever ask for. Johnny's dog Rowdy is really sweet too. They have so much fun together. It's so cute. And I'm glad they can eep each other company while Johnny and I are out. I think I'm going to get Johnny a year pass to Seaworld. Momma got me a funcard the other day and I think my hunny will love going. I have him a card and that's it. I'm trying to think of something else... I don't know. Hollidays are confusing.


Who is the last person to send you a message on myspace?
Lee, the guy who did my last tattoo.

Are you jealous of anyone right now?
of course

What's the connection between you and the last person to text you?
he's my love

Hold hands with anyone yesterday?
yes

What will you be doing tomorrow?
working

Why did you last cry?
missing my bro

When will your next kiss take place?
Tomorrow hopefully

Do you think you're pregnant?
I hope not. I want a baby, just don't think now is a good time. Logan Shane and Sadie Sandra can wait!

You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?
monroe

You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
There are a lot.

When was the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
yesterday

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Johnny

What color is your hair?
Blonde!

Do you wear glasses?
errday

Could you cry right now?
If I start thinking.

Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?
yeah, actually. First kiss. CRAZY

Are you someone who worries too often?
nah

Was yesterday better than today?
YEP! I got to buy stuff and... not work.

What plans do you have for the day?
Nothing

What's the very first thing you do when you wake up?
Say hi to Georgie

What are you doing right now?
nothing

When's the last time you had a headache?
I'm not sure. Not too long ago.

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying?
duh

Do you ever think "What If" about anything?
Like, what if I had gone wakeboarding? Would his timing be different? Would he still be alive? I hate this. I hate that I could have changed things.

Do you judge people you don't know?
yes

Are you happy with the way things are going?
Yes! Actually! Johnny and I are in love with the apartment we're gonna get! We just need furniture... and for it to be May.

In the past week, have you cried?
yes

Who is your favorite person to talk to when you're down?
no one

Have you ever been awake for 2 days straight?
yes

Where did you go in a car last?
home from work

Are you open about your feelings, or closed off?
depends on who you are, and what the feelings are.

Who was the last person you were in a car with besides family?
John is my family. But I guess I have to go with him because I can't think any further back... Rina? Probably Rina.

Would you go out in public looking like you do now?
I would put my hair back up.

Have you ever felt replaced?
yes

Should you be doing something else right now?
the crazy amounts of homework I have

How were you feeling last night?
unnerved.

Are you different from how you were a year ago?
Yes. My life changed in September

Tell the truth, what made you start liking the person you like?
wow, he's great.

Do you have any secrets?
yes

Are you attracted to the last person you kissed?
Uh, yeahhh. Have you seen him?

What happened at 9:00 am today?
sleeeeeep.

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?
no

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
Tons and tons of times.

Have you ever seen a dead body?
.........yes.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
night

Do you have a boyfriend/​​​​​girlfriend?​​​​​
I have a soulmate

Is your best friend a virgin?
which one... because it's yes and no.

Do you wear eyeliner?
everyday

When was the last time you were sick?
a few weeks ago

Are you one of those people who are always cold?
usually.

Where are your biological parents?
asleep in their bed.

Do you have any summer plans yet?
hopefully I'll be interning.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money?
I wouldn't say waste.

Do you have trust issues?
I can.

Do you think this year will be better than the last?
I don't know what to think.

Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
sure

Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
two

Are you a jealous person?
can be

Do you think age matters in relationships?
to a point.

When was the last time you got a haircut?
New Years Eve

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
duh

What is one thing you'd love to happen tomorrow?
to get fired so I could collect unemployment! hahaha. Or for an internship to fall right into my lap.

Did you sing today?
no

Where will you be 2 hours from now?
probably in bed.

Are there any stressful situations in your life?
YES

Are your lips chapped at the moment?
a little

What time did you wake up?
I'm not sure because the doggie kept waking me up

Hows the weather?
getting warmer...

Has anyone said you have changed lately?
Yep

So, I don't know if I'm crazy of if Shane was crazy or what, but this has been on my mind A LOT.

Not even a year ago Shane was telling me about some things he had been seeing. He said that sometimes when he woke up he would see a dead person standing over him, staring. He said instinctively he would throw a punch and it would disappear. I told him he needed to go see my doctor and they would give him some medication and make it stop. He never did. Anyhow, I just assumed it was a hallucination, but now I can't stop wondering if he was seeing them because, well, you know. Now he is gone. Was it a premonition? Was it a visitation? I don't really believe in god and spirits or anything of that sort, but it seems crazy. Or maybe I'm crazy. Or maybe they were there because it was a dream. All I know is, dreams can, but usually don't constantly repeat. He told me about it more than once, he thought he was going crazy. All I know, is if I see them, they are welcome. I miss my bro.

I hate this. I hate the re-realization I  go through every single day that my brother is gone. Of course he "lives on in my heart" but I don't get to see or hang out with him. I don't get to talk  to him. I don't get to bitch with him. This sucks. UGHRHHHH gvbrhqvglhvhqgle.